Blog Widget by LinkWithin

Wednesday, December 9

Finding A Distraction

My friend and I had a very candid conversation about relationships the other day. Our conversation took many turns and even experienced a few abrupt stops at points when we didn't agree.

But somewhere in the conversation, we started discussing distractions, a topic that we very much in sync on.

My friend and I agreed that every goddess in a relationship needs a distraction from her beau. She needs something that she can throw herself into when he makes her mad or she gets bored. In both situations, thoughts about the man typically manifest unless there is something else for the mind to focus on. In my friend's case, she's currently unemployed. So, she doesn't have the distraction of a full-time job to keep her mind and thoughts occupied if her boyfriend does something to piss her off.

So, if they're not on the good foot, she often finds herself directing energy into replaying situations, conversations and hypotheticals in her head which tend to make her agitated and hypersensitive. In her agitated or hypersensitive state, she might find herself leaving several voice messages on his phone, posting messages on his Facebook page or blowing up his inbox with texts.

However, a goddess with a distraction can use that energy to read a book or write a book, workout or work a business plan, take a class or take a trip (even if it's to the mall or museum).

We both agreed that stuff isn't as serious when you have a distraction that allows you to throw yourself into yourself. And when you do, he'll be the one calling to make amends.

So, what's your distraction? If you don't have one, it's time to get one!


donna b. said...

My distraction is usually going somewhere where I'll interact with people I don't know. If I go out with just girlfriends...we'll all start talking about what our men did to piss us off...which leads to thinking about him later on. But for example I'll go to a spoken word session...which allows me to be entertained by others...and I don't have to say a word. or... I tend to volunteer at my favorite non-profit...which happens to be a vintage furniture thrift store, also a preservation alliance for preserving historic homes which I'm into...or dancing...I take hip-hop classes on and off...which allows me to interact with others and get in their worlds...and leave mine for a few hours.

It's just a matter of finding your interest, especially since your unemployed...use the time to possible re-invent won't have time to blow up his I have been there.

Candace Avont said...

donna b, I always love your comments and you're so right! It's about finding your interests and throwing yourself into them. When you do, you'll have a lot less time to think about why your man pissed you off.

My girl who's unemployed actually started dedicating more of her time to writing, which has been great for her!