What You Struggle to Get, You Struggle To Keep

My friends know how much I love quotes, so one of my girls sent me this one, "What you struggle to get, you struggle to keep."

Initially, my mind disputed this statement thinking, sometimes you have to struggle and sacrifice to get what you really want. But then my thoughts went a little bit deeper and forced me to analyze the difference between working hard and struggling.

When we work hard, we increase the level of effort we put into specific tasks, whether they relate to work, school, or relationships. But when we struggle, we work hard with a degree of desperation and proceed in these tasks with difficulty.

The house that you struggled to live in into may be the same house that you're struggling to keep after your interest rates adjust. The man that you struggled to get may be the same man that you're struggling to keep interested. And the job you struggled to land may be the same job that you're struggling to prove your value in. The desperation that is generally associated with struggling influences us to make rash decisions and alter our true selves.

So, needless to say, the quote makes sense.

To all my goddesses, evaluate the things that you are struggling for and ask yourself, "Can I do this with the struggle? If not, is it worth it?" For some, the answer to the second question may be "yes," but for most, it will probably be otherwise.

Agree or disagree??

Grandmas Are Special

Grandmothers are so special. My grandmother, Lillian R. Doby, was no exception. Actually, she was the greatest. She passed away on Tuesday, December 22nd after a seven year, hard-fought battle with breast cancer and partial paralysis. I am so grateful that I had the privilege of growing up knowing her and being influenced by her. My grandmother was one of the strongest human beings I was lucky enough to know.

Grandma's Lil' Girl
Donna C. Elkins
Grandma, I was thinking of you today and a smile tickled my face. Remembering all the things you taught me, like always to say grace. I remember sitting in your lap while you read the Bible out loud,To hear me sing a gospel song made you so proud. I thought of those Saturday mornings I watched them fix your hair, I remember crossing the street and hearing GIRL YOU BETTER STOP RIGHT THERE!!! I remember the goodness you instilled in me though' sometimes it doesn't show, You played a very special part in my life and I thought that you should know.... My childhood is filled with memories of you that you couldn't buy with all the gold in the world, And even though' I am all grown up, at heart I will always be GRANDMA'S LIL' GIRL!!!

Goddess Inspiration: Sonya Rudikoff

Goddess Zuri T-shirt Giveaway On [fung'ke] [blak] [chik]!

Goddess Zuri has teamed up with [fung'ke] [blak] [chik] for a t-shirt giveaway! All you have to do is visit the [fung'ke] [blak] [chik] blog and leave a comment about why you enjoy being a natural beauty! It's that easy!

A lucky contest entrant will win one of Goddess Zuri's new long sleeve shirts!

To get full product details on the shirts, visit Goddess Zuri's Sales and Specials. Contest ends Friday!

Be The Source Of Your Own Happiness

"To be happy for an hour, get drunk; to be happy for a year, fall in love; to be happy for life, take up gardening." -Chinese Proverb

I was working my parttime job on Saturday and got bored walking the floor and greeting the same customers. So, I decided to pick up one of the quote books that we sell. As I started flipping through the pages, the above quote literally jumped off the paper and grabbed my attention.

It's one succinct statement affirming that happiness is temporary when derived from a substance or thing, and it's fleeting when dependent on another person. But when you become the source of your own happiness, it becomes everlasting.

This quote and its meaning reinforces the importance for each goddess to discover her strengths, explore her interests and find her purpose in life. Because it is these things that will keep us motivated when the buzz wears off, enhance our living when he starts acting up and ultimately renew our ability to dance in the rain.

Now it's time to ask yourself, are you on a path to be happy for life?

Goddess Inspiration: Blaise Pascal

Finding A Distraction

My friend and I had a very candid conversation about relationships the other day. Our conversation took many turns and even experienced a few abrupt stops at points when we didn't agree.

But somewhere in the conversation, we started discussing distractions, a topic that we very much in sync on.

My friend and I agreed that every goddess in a relationship needs a distraction from her beau. She needs something that she can throw herself into when he makes her mad or she gets bored. In both situations, thoughts about the man typically manifest unless there is something else for the mind to focus on. In my friend's case, she's currently unemployed. So, she doesn't have the distraction of a full-time job to keep her mind and thoughts occupied if her boyfriend does something to piss her off.

So, if they're not on the good foot, she often finds herself directing energy into replaying situations, conversations and hypotheticals in her head which tend to make her agitated and hypersensitive. In her agitated or hypersensitive state, she might find herself leaving several voice messages on his phone, posting messages on his Facebook page or blowing up his inbox with texts.

However, a goddess with a distraction can use that energy to read a book or write a book, workout or work a business plan, take a class or take a trip (even if it's to the mall or museum).

We both agreed that stuff isn't as serious when you have a distraction that allows you to throw yourself into yourself. And when you do, he'll be the one calling to make amends.

So, what's your distraction? If you don't have one, it's time to get one!

I Just Think She's Fly: Goapele

I discovered Goapele's music when I lived in Chicago about six years ago. The first song I heard was "Closer," and it changed my life! (not really, but if you've heard the song, you know what I mean.)

It's the perfect song to get you in the mindframe for reflection and self-evaluation.

The lyrics are potent:

"Closer to my dreams

I’m goin’ higher and higher

I ain’t gonna sleep

Sometimes you just have to let it go (Let it go, let it go)

Leaving all my fears to burn down

Push them away so I can move on
Closer to my dreams"

Whenever I'm feeling stagnant, I often play this song (usually putting it on repeat). And sooner or later, I'm able to restore a sense of purpose, a feeling of hope or a spark of creativity.

Without the natural beauty, without the class and withouth the grace....this song, alone, makes Goapele fly!

Job Search Blues

I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday, and somewhere in the conversation the topic of another friend surfaced. We'll call the other friend Porshe.

My friend and Porshe talked recently about Porshe's situation. Porshe has been unemployed for a little over two year and has been searching relentlessly for a job. First, the focus was a full-time gig. When that wasn't working out, she shifted her attention to part-time work, and now she's at the point where she'll settle with a temporary position.

But even after two years of searching and being flexible about the type of job she has, nothing has turned up for Porshe. Of course, this is frustrating for her. But what gets her blood pressure rising faster than her continually unsuccessful job search is learning that other people around her are landing jobs. Good jobs.

So what is Porshe doing wrong? This is what my friend and I discussed. Porshe is shooting darts in the dark hoping they land on something; whereas, other are taking shots with the lights on. Porshe doesn't have a preferred job type, nor has she identified any of her strengths or passions. She is simply applying for any and everything that she finds. My friend and I talked about how this strategy can work against her. On the surface, it seems like casting a wider net will improve the probability of landing a job. However, it becomes extremely harder to sell yourself when you don't have a focused resume or proven experience in the industry you're applying for a job in. This is the case for Porshe.

She may see the number of call-backs or positive email responses increase if she focuses in on the jobs that fulfill her interests or complement her experience.

If you're like Porshe and you're stuck in your job search, spend a little time figuring out what you like to do and what you're good at. And seek out only the jobs that included elements of your interests and strengths. By doing so, you'll put yourself in a better position to showcase the value you can add.

Goddess Art: Portrait of African Woman

Portrait of African Woman by Photographer Tyler Stableford

This photograph epitomizes struggle and strength, focus and perseverance, wisdom and survival, truth and transparency. It also inspires the discovery of greatness in self as well as service to others.

What would this world be without strong black goddesses?