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Tuesday, June 15

Married Woman or Wife?

Written by guest blogger: Dean Alan

Over many years of taking part in different relationships I have noticed the way a woman can evolve in opinion and motives with age. Ironically the infamous “Biological Clock” will have a mental effect on a woman’s perspective. Eventually the relentless pursuit of certain personal objectives, within her relationships, can create more failure than success. The personal objective some men find themselves victim to is a woman’s desire to be married. Generations filled with women who are forced to be self sufficient, by society, have adapted to accomplishing personal objectives within a reasonable period of time. This window of accomplishment may differ among women, but the scrutiny a man undergoes is still unwarranted if the woman doesn’t understand why her mate has yet to fully commit through marriage.

First of all, as people we must understand the fundamental difference between marriage and Holy Matrimony. Marriage remains a legally binding agreement between a man and a woman while Holy Matrimony refers to the relationship between husband and wife. These two terms are never to be considered equal. This complication of marriage from a man’s perspective may not be easily articulated but the understanding is elementary in all cases. We wonder why so many people get divorced yet the answer remains simple. So many people get divorced because so many people only desire marriage, and as a result, they get married. Single people must continuously ask themselves if they desire marriage or Holy matrimony. Understanding the importance of roles in a marriage is what differentiates it from an ordinary marriage and makes it Holy Matrimony. In a man’s journey to find a life partner, he tends to focus on the “life” aspect more than the “partner” label.

Do women understand the difference between being a wife and being married? The difference between these titles is that one has unspoken yet universally understood requirements. Often times we find women who desire to be married yet are unwilling to fulfill the duties of a wife. Resultantly, due to this subtle characteristic, it will seem as though a woman’s only objective is to have a title. This perversion of wedlock is what keeps a great deal of men from rushing down to the Justice of the Peace and signing on the dotted line. The roles and responsibilities of a wife may sound chauvinistic if spoken from a man, but a happily married woman will agree each participant has a part to play in the success of a marriage. Men who find themselves pressured to marry naturally divert back to the idea of whether the woman has genuine intentions or narcissistic motives.

So what characteristics are proof of a woman who desires to be a wife and not just married? There is no master list of “Do’s and Don’ts” to prove to a man you choose to be a wife. There are certain criteria which should be adopted in the understanding of being a wife--or even a husband for that matter. One must be willing to let go of personal objectives in order to create a perfect union. Comprehension of the emotional and spiritual commitment between a man and a woman is also of extreme importance. Ultimately a person's commitment to the role they choose to play is what will lead them to their intended destination. For any woman who is unwed, a man’s response will be, does she want to be married or to be a wife? Only she can answer this question--through actions and not titles.

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