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Tuesday, November 16

I'm Sensitive

Pretty much all my life I’ve been called sensitive, and pretty much all of my life, something has bothered me about this description. For some reason the word sensitive carries a negative connotation in my mind. Maybe because I equate it with weakness. I’ve always felt like being looked upon as sensitive makes people guarded in their interactions with you because they’re always worried about hurting your feelings. In my experience, people usually refrain from joking with the sensitive person as they would their other friends or divulging their true feelings to avoid hurting those of the sensitive person’s.

So, I’ve tried to grow a tougher shell, and I have actually been successful at desensitizing myself to some things. But at the end of the day, I am a sensitive person. I’ve cried during at least one part of almost every movie I’ve ever seen. (I’m a huge sucker for stories of redemption. Those hit me the hardest). My heart smiles every single time I see an old person or baby. I’m sympathetic to people’s struggles and hardships, so I usually find myself trying to help those closest to me however I can.

You remember the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Well, words can hurt me. I get super defensive when people talk about my family or when people speak untruths about me. So, the truth is, I’m sensitive. And I need to learn to embrace this about me. The first thing I need to do to help myself accept it is detach the connection between sensitivity and weakness.

Weak is defined as lacking strength, and sensitive is defined as highly responsive. The two words can be connected, but they can also be mutually exclusive. So, I can be sensitive and not weak or weak and not sensitive.

The big lesson here, for me and hopefully other goddesses, is that we need to embrace ourselves because we can’t escape ourselves. I’ve always been a highly responsive person, and I am easily touched. So, instead of recognizing this part of me as weak, I need to learn to accept it and understand how it helps make me into the beautiful goddess that I am.

3 comments:

Zawadi said...
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Zawadi said...

Excellent! This IS a very important lesson for everyone! Thank you for sharing your experience.

I have two points that I want to share with you. One, I read a blog earlier this morning that also commented on the falsity of the old "sticks and stones" saying. I encourage you to read this entry written by a beautiful 14-year old sistah on the power of words. I was amazed! You can find it at: http://joyousocean.blogspot.com/2010/11/power-of-words.html.

Two, reading your entry reminded me of an issue I had with the word "power" and the phrase, "be powerful." About a month ago, a friend and I were having a deep conversation and towards the end she encouraged me to reclaim my power and stated, "Z, be powerful." I responded, "Well isn't it more appropriate to be humble?" She immediately told me no, and since we were short on time she suggested that I reflect on those two words and why, in my mind, they were not compatible. Later that evening she sent me a quote by Marianne Williamson, (the one a lot of people attribute to Nelson Mandela). It begins, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." The quote is actually paragraph-length, so I won't share it all here. My favorite part though reads: "You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do." After reading that I was in tears! In short, I realized that I can be both--powerful and humble! And now I am embracing both attributes!

Candace Avont said...

Zawadi,

thank you so much for reading my entry. I think power is another word that people can attach a negative connotation to because we are all so familiar with the corruption of power.

Thank you so much for giving me two things to read today! I can already see myself posting something on facebook related to what I read.