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Saturday, January 30

Act On What You Know And Not What You Feel

Long story short, I’ve felt some kind of way about this guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. And although communication between us had been spotty throughout the years, a reconnected friendship was rather effortless after we ended up in the same city about six months ago.

We started having casual conversations which progressed into more frequent conversations which then progressed into hanging out. So as you can probably imagine, my interest in him progressed. And after evaluating his actions, I reasoned that the interest was at least half-way mutual. I was confident in my senses, so I didn’t feel like a verbal confirmation was necessary….until my attraction to him intensified. Among many things, my friend is compassionate and brilliant with a body like “whoa.” Not to mention he loves his momma, so there’s a lot to like.

After my confidence was shaken, though, I realized that I was riding full on emotions and empty on actuality...not a good companionship. So, I decided that I had to inquire about his outlook on our friendship…not really an easy thing to do while trying to leave the chill factor undisturbed.

But I couldn’t keep operating in the unknown. So, one day I asked him what his intentions were with me. In the immediate moments after asking, I was so proud of myself for getting it out. But then there was a period of silence that left me a bit anxious. He finally responded that he didn’t know what his intentions were…..he was just chillin.


Not exactly what I wanted to hear, so I was disappointed for something like two minutes. Then I simply accepted that we weren’t on the same page. If I had continued to go off of my feelings, though, I would have probably just assumed that we were…not knowing for sure.

So, the moral of the story is, act on what you know and not what you feel. And guess what…if you don’t know, you better find out!

My friend and I will always be friends, but it looks like it may not be more than that for now.


Soulfuljourney said...

Thank you so much for writing this...i have been in the same situation with a friend of mine but I have been so scared to know where he stands....I think its beautiful that to that you guys can remain friends after realizing the difference in intentions

Kinky Rhonnie said...

It is definitely better to know!

The true test of how he feels will come out if you decide to keep company with someone else. lol

Candace Avont said...

Thank you Soulfuljourney and Kinky for your comments...and yes! It's always better to know!